Avoid Honeymoon Stress: 10 Tips on Planning Your Honeymoon
On top of planning a wedding, managing your day job, and coping with the rollercoaster of emotions that often come with planning the big day, you’ve decided that you really want to add a little more to your plate by planning an entire honeymoon.
I’ve been there, and it was (I can confirm) quite stressful. But we don’t want that for you.
So, I’ve compiled a list of recommendations you can take (or leave) that will hopefully ease your anxiety during this chaotic season.
Whether you’re planning a big international journey, cross-country road trip, or staycation, there are decisions you can make now to save your future self from additional stress.
Preparing for a Stress-free Vacation
Have open (& honest) communication with your partner.
If you don’t want to add unnecessary stress to your already full plate, might I suggest the advice that you’ve probably already heard from your therapist (or well-intentioned family member): open and honest communication is so so soooo important. Period.
If you don’t like something, say something — in a kind and patient way, of course. 😉
Advocating for yourself from the beginning allows your partner to understand EXACTLY where you stand. You might not agree on 100% of the things you want out of your honeymoon, but it’s essential that you share your thoughts and, in turn, you listen to theirs from the very beginning.
We live in a very big and beautiful world, so there’s bound to be a destination that will meet both your wishes.
When Andy (my now-husband!!) and I were initially thinking about honeymoon destinations, we both agreed that we wanted it to be somewhere that neither of us has traveled to. Andy was clear that he wanted to be by the beach and that he hated airports, and I was clear that I wanted a blend of relaxation, cultural immersion, and adventure. Maybe it was a tough ask, but it gave us a great starting point to work with.
We talked about places like Bali, the Maldives, and Costa Rica. But, we later realized that those gorgeous destinations came with extra flight transfers (aka more airport time), or didn’t necessarily check off all of our boxes.
If you’re curious, we ultimately chose New Zealand! Neither of us had ventured to that part of the world yet, we got our beach time, we had one direct flight to Aukland, and … it included two types of experiences we both enjoy: touring vineyards (they’ve got the most incredible Sauv Blancs and Pinots) and Lord of the Rings tours! 10/10 would highly recommend.
To get to that final destination though, we asked ourselves quite a few questions. However, these are the three important ones we discussed during the early planning phase:
What’s your ideal honeymoon destination? What kind of vibe are you hoping for? (relaxing beach, culture-focused, adventure, etc.)
Do you want to revisit your favorite destination? Or experience somewhere new together?
What’s your ideal budget?
Contact a travel advisor.
Sourcing possible hotels, experiences, trusted transportation, and food while planning your wedding is not where you should channel your energy — at least in my opinion. Save yourself additional sleepless nights and decision fatigue by contacting a trusted travel advisor.
Contrary to the myth that working with a travel agent will cost you more, the reality is that most get paid through commissions from hotels, transportation services, and other vendors.
Skeptical? I was actually a travel advisor up until the pandemic! Based on my experience, my clients did not pay me extra for the services provided. I had a directory of safe, trusted, and highly regarded partners who would compensate me for referring clients!
Just like the open and honest convo you had with your partner, it’s equally as important to be very clear with your travel advisor about what you want and your desired budget.
Andy and I agreed that planning a big wedding (with over 400 invited guests) was a big enough undertaking, so we reached out to Lozano Travel — a local family-owned travel agency that has helped us out in the past and who I worked with as a travel advisor.
The caveat: Do your research before working with a specific agent. Make sure they have credentials (think: good ratings from the Better Business Bureau, Virtuoso Membership, or verified preferred partnerships from major hotel companies) or social proof (like verified reviews from past clients).
Things to look out for when searching for a travel advisor:
Make sure they’re part of an accredited agency. Agencies often have robust global networks familiar with trusted, safe, and enjoyable accommodations and experiences.
Make sure they have social proof (aka verified reviews from past clients). This is where your online sleuthing skills come into play. Look for their Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook profiles and scroll through past tagged posts or reviews left in the comment section!
Schedule an initial call and get to know them! Look out for red flags like pushing certain experiences or accommodations outside your budget or comfort zone. It’s YOUR trip, so be sure your advisor is mindfully collaborating with you.
Oh, one more thing! Only approach an advisor when you and your partner have both agreed on it — so you avoid wasting your time and the advisor’s time. I can’t tell you how many calls I took and itineraries I built for couples who ultimately ghosted me.
Also, please please (please!) don’t take an advisor’s itinerary only to turn around and book everything on your own. As mentioned earlier, for the most part, advisors only receive compensation through hotel and vendor relationships — so try avoiding taking their work from them!
Make sure your travel dates work with your destination.
Your travel advisor should have a pretty good idea of the best time to go to a certain destination. I mean, you wouldn’t want to travel somewhere during their rainy or high-traffic seasons, right? (Hello, stress!)
If you’re opting not to use an advisor, Whereandwhen.net has a great free online tool that can help you determine which destination works best with your travel days!
If possible, try traveling in what is known as “shoulder seasons” — often April-May & September-November for most destinations.
Be realistic when talking about your finances.
Like it or not, money is a key factor in where you can go. If you overspend upfront, you’ll likely run into unneeded stress later.
Save yourself from that kind of (very real and scary) stress, and be real with yourself, your partner, and travel advisor with what you can afford.
Sit down with your partner and discuss your budget. I like how Rachel Anita breaks down how she and her partner manage their finances (plus, she has a sweet, easy-to-use template you can play around with!).
Take advantage of credit card perks.
Speaking of spending, if you haven’t already signed up for one of the many travel credit cards out there, this is my gentle nudge for you to do it!
Andy and I signed up for a credit card and paid for much of our wedding vendor fees through it while simultaneously earning points — which can help you pay for things like hotels, food, and more.
Of course, don’t spend what you don’t have, but if you’re already planning on spending money during the wedding planning process, why not get some benefits in return?
Add a honeymoon fund to your wedding registry.
So here’s the thing about wedding registries… they are great for helping couples access things they previously did not have or need but can’t afford.
However, it’s also a quick way to overconsume and clutter your home.
In our case, we were already living together, mostly had everything we needed, and were having trouble selecting things that we could picture ourselves using for the long haul.
Instead, we added a honeymoon fund — which we knew we’d use and enjoy! Some might call it tacky, embarrassing to ask for money, or “interesting.” But we honestly didn’t care! We knew without a doubt that we’d value a little more financial cushion on our honeymoon than we would a brand-new blender.
Things we added to our registry that people contributed to:
Meal for Two on Our Honeymoon in [insert destination]
Couples Massage on our Honeymoon in [insert destination]
Honeymoon Fund: Miscellaneous
Don’t over-plan.
It might be tempting to want to take full advantage of your surroundings and plan an experience or two per day BUT isn’t the point of a honeymoon to turn the page on the (possibly) high-stress wedding planning season and peacefully celebrate you and your new partner’s next chapter?
Andy and I worked with our travel agent, Caro, to make sure that we had more free time than pre-planned tour days. If having free days scares you and you’re itching to do something more while you’re at your destination, your hotel can help you book the experience on the spot!
Having those free days actually allowed us the flexibility to experience activities that were highly recommended by locals. So, as weird as it might be to have empty days on the agenda, leave it empty so that you have room for unexpected experiences and memories!
Don’t spend extra time, effort, and money on experiences that might be draining. Space out your time, relax, and enjoy being alone with your partner. Don’t rush through your honeymoon.
Ease yourself into honeymoon mode.
Though it may be tempting to hop on the first flight out of town and get away with your life partner, I wouldn’t recommend leaving on your honeymoon the day after your wedding.
Instead, leave two (to three) days after your big day.
Andy and I got married on a Saturday and left on a Monday afternoon. We knew we’d be exhausted, hungover, and feeling a million other feelings the day after our wedding. BUT we did want to leave ASAP, so we chose to rest on Sunday and fly out on the afternoon flight so that we weren’t stressed or rushing out.
The caveat: Our flights were generously gifted by a family member who saved up points for us! We were fortunate enough not to worry about paying for flights, so we were able to have flexibility with what day and time we left.
Oftentimes, that’s not the case for everyone. So if that’s your circumstance, be sure to be mindful of your budget and give yourself time to ease into your honeymoon. Avoid the temptation of leaving the next day after your wedding. If you need to wait a week to leave, do it!
Be flexible.
Perfectionists, I’m sorry to tell you, but there’s a 99.999% chance that traveling anywhere means expecting the unexpected.
Unfortunately, throughout the planning process (as I’m sure you’re already gathering), things will not go your way, or some of your expectations might not be met. That’s totally okay. Say it with me: That’s totally OKAY!
That means that if the tour you booked months ago was unexpectedly canceled, you’ve got to be flexible enough to accept it and move on to plan B.
So whether you don’t have the finances to go on a big international trip, one of the experiences you wanted to book is no longer available, or your dream hotel isn’t within your budget, don’t let that ruin your trip.
Avoid being the impatient newlywed (ahem, Shane Patton from White Lotus), and instead, take a deep breath, move forward, and be flexible.
If you’re driving, prepare ahead of time.
If you and your significant other decide to road trip around the country, or drive to a nearby national park to camp out, be sure your car is ready for it.
I’m not an expert on what a car needs to be in tip-top shape, but this could mean taking your car to the shop (well in advance) to get the oil, breaks, and tires checked.
You’ll also want to make sure that you download an offline version of your intended route.
Based on personal experience, I can tell you that it comes in handy, especially when your phone carrier doesn’t cover a particular area of the country. Having that offline map will save you so much stress during the honeymoon.
